Many parents complain that their teenage children are rebelling. They greet their children’s teenage with needless dread. While teenagers may assault us with heavy-metal music, wear strange clothes, have strange hair styles, and spend all their time dating or meeting friends, such behavior scarcely adds up to full-scale revolt.
Take a good look at the present rebellion. It seems that teenagers are all taking the same way of showing that they disagree with their parents. Instead of striking out boldly on their wings, most of them are clutching at one another’s hands for reassurance. Their reason for thinking or acting in thus-and-such a way is that the crowd is doing it. It has become harder and harder for a teenager to stand up against the popularity wave and to go his or her own way. They have come out of their cocoon—into a larger cocoon.
Teenage rebellion, according to psychologist Laurence Steinberg, coauthor of You and Your Adolescent, has been greatly overstated. Many other psychologists agree. The idea that teenagers inevitably rebel is a myth that has the potential for great family harm. This notion can damage communication during this critical time for parents to influence youngsters.
Still adolescence is often a trying time of transition for child and parent. Teenagers need to establish themselves as individuals—in their own minds and in the eyes of others. This search isn’t about rebellion: it’s about becoming a person of one’s own. " Teenagers ought to be growing away from their parents and learning to stand on their own two feet, " says Steinberg.
Here is one way parents can help: don’t stereotype. " Parents who expect teenage rebellion may actually stir it up, " says Kenneth I. Howard, a member of a research team that collected survey data on more than 20,000 teenagers over a 28-year period.
Howard cautions parents not to resort to suppression at the first sight of adolescent independence, fearful that giving in even slightly now means drugs cannot be far behind. When parents overreact, teenagers assert themselves more, parents clamp down harder, and a full-scale blowup results.
In fact, psychologists say that there is no inevitable pattern to teenage behavior, and no such creature as a typical teenager. Your teenager is now larger, per, older and smarter than before, with an additional supply of hormone raging through the bloodstream. But he or she is still the same human being you have lived with since birth. Given a chance, your son or daughter will continue to behave in ways you have established.
According to the psychologists, it is beneficial for parents to（）
A.show fear
B.use suppression
C.clamp down harder
D.treat teenagers as they used to
